Interlocking Fingers Nº6, 1999 by John Coplans
I am an extrovert. However, this “how to care for introverts” list is SPOT ON.
- Be aware as you plan and structure relationships that they will evolve beyond your plans. Guidelines imposing different behaviors for different strata of primary, tertiary, secondary, temporary and great-uncle-of-tertiary relationships seem to work for some people. For me that seems a nightmare of trying to regulate degrees of intimacy. Occasional humpbuddies will sometimes fall madly in love, romantic relationships will sometimes become platonic friendships, and the world will keep changing regardless of the categories we impose on it. Overcategorization seems to me a mostly symbolic approach designed to offset a lack of comfort within relationships about what constitutes genuine specialness and security. Closeness will wax and wane, availability and geography will change, trust will develop and some people will want more of each others’ time. Increased closeness in one relationship doesn’t automatically equal decreased closeness in another relationship. There is enough closeness to go around. There is not always enough time to go around, but that’s what calendars and sleepless nights are for. Mutual willingness to plan time together is often a big piece of what makes one relationship different from another. If you’re asking to be somebody’s “primary partner”, part of what you may be asking for is the concrete step of negotiating priority access to their planning calendar. Concrete elements like that don’t replace symbolic ones, but they can often help to keep the symbolic elements in perspective. — This point also gets a HELL YES from me. Thank you, David. (via queershoulder)
I wasn’t staring ‘cause you’re trans
I was staring ‘cause you’re cute
Submitted by aydenmace
via jizlee.com/wordpress and adipositivity.com
gray37: Phaidra Knight, USA Rugby